MY LIFE, MY RULES

There was a time in my life when I was unaware of how much I cared about others’ opinions of

me. Most of my decisions were rooted in considering others before myself. This became the

norm, and ironically, I would expect others to consider me first. When they didn’t, I was left

holding the bag of disappointment. This is a cycle we are all a part of, whether we are aware of

it or not. It’s not always easy to honor who we truly are; no one wants to face judgment from

others regarding their life choices.

At the age of 22, I got married and had my first child, a girl. Honestly, I had no clue how to be a

wife or a mother, especially since I was only 11 years new to this version of society. Growing upin a cult left me very inexperienced in the world. It’s amazing how, despite rebelling against the

cult’s beliefs surrounding marriage and children, I ended up following in those same footsteps 11

years later. My ex-husband was much older than me and was born into this world. He

recognized that I needed guidance and did his best to provide it. During our marriage, I relied

heavily on my mother’s input, needing her validation and approval concerning almost all of my

choices. If she didn’t approve, I felt as if I had failed in some way. Her approval, along with

society’s, became my need for survival. This wasn’t a healthy way to live my life or raise a

daughter; it felt like I was still a little girl trapped in an adult body, unsure of herself and her

decisions. This is who I was before I grew into the woman I am today.

Through my experience of seeking validation and approval, I learned a major lesson about

honoring my innermost being: I needed to learn how to listen to and follow my heart. Keep in

mind that this journey of self-discovery and saying yes to myself has been a rollercoaster ride at

times. Not knowing who you are while trying to live by other people’s rules is not easy; it

guarantees disappointment for both yourself and others. My parents and society are not to

blame for my lack of self-awareness and courage to be my authentic self, as they too are

somewhat trapped by the dos and don’ts of the world.

If you are anything like me and still find it challenging to live your life on your own terms but

want to, then I encourage you to adopt the motto and mantra: “Your life, your rules.

” It is

important to identify your reason—your “why”

—for living. After all, the more you deny your

authentic self, the more you will rob yourself of your birthright, which is to experience

abundance, joy, and create the life and relationships you deserve. You have followed the rules

of your parents and society, and now it’s time to follow your heart: your life, your rules!

My motto is “Your life, your rules,

” and the number one rule is to say yes to you.